Just that moment, I felt comforting warmth. How foolish I was back then as I neglected the voice. I thought it was just my conscience telling me to be calm.
That would make me nuts?! Talking to myself that way…
But then again, it was that ignorance that eventually led me to believe.
To my surprise I was calm. Look at the situation at hand, me, a 21 year old with a stroke and yet..
I could laugh and joke with the medical attendants. I finally kept my mouth shut in the ambulance when the attendant pulled out a tube and said it will be inserted INSIDE, yes INSIDE my penis! To make things worse it was a she and she was on training.
“So is this the first time you’re touching a male penis?” I asked.
Her other colleague was laughing hysterically but she just stared at me in disbelief.
She consulted her superior, “When do I stop inserting?”
Now is a good time
“Until you get to the bladder wall where there will be obstruction” he replied.
It eventually got to the wall and I knew it because there was an undeniable pain.
And so that was my first experience with the catheter. Little did I know that it hurts the most when it is pulled out!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Finally!
The ambulance arrival was pretty obvious when the distinguishing siren was blared.
It was about time! My head is (literally!) killing me!
Apparently, while she was busy attending to me, the front gate was still locked. Even the front door was shut. The attendants thought that this was a prank and almost left but she got to them in time.
I was then lifted up via stretcher and then carried down to the front of the car porch where the ambulance was parked. At that moment, I closed my eyes and prayed.
Lord, I don’t know what is happening to me. Am I going to die?
And then for the first time in my life, my 21 years of good life, I heard Him. Initially I thought it was just my subconscious mind comforting me. But, this wasn’t my voice and oh how comforting this voice was. This warmth just came onto me. I checked to see if another blanket was put on me but there was none.
The voice said this..
This is not the end of you…
It was about time! My head is (literally!) killing me!
Apparently, while she was busy attending to me, the front gate was still locked. Even the front door was shut. The attendants thought that this was a prank and almost left but she got to them in time.
I was then lifted up via stretcher and then carried down to the front of the car porch where the ambulance was parked. At that moment, I closed my eyes and prayed.
Lord, I don’t know what is happening to me. Am I going to die?
And then for the first time in my life, my 21 years of good life, I heard Him. Initially I thought it was just my subconscious mind comforting me. But, this wasn’t my voice and oh how comforting this voice was. This warmth just came onto me. I checked to see if another blanket was put on me but there was none.
The voice said this..
This is not the end of you…
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Hello...
“Dear God. What is going on with me?”
... nothing...
“Hello? Are you there?”
...again..nothing..
Allow me to add that at that time, my relationship with God was unilateral. I prayed, at times I got what I wanted and at times I also did not get what I asked for. I told myself, “Not my luck” and moved on. Thankfully, this was all going to change.
I called my father to tell him that I can’t wake up. He instantly thought that this was another of my pranks and there was no way he’s going to fall far it this time. Naturally, I got this response from him.
“Get up from bed and go to work!”
If only I could, papa.. If only I could. Till this day I don’t blame him for seeing things that way because I was quite the prankster back then. Aesop’s “ The Boy Who Cried Wolf” is a great analogy to further explain this situation.
That morning I cried out but no one came because… simply because I used to cry Wolf!
... nothing...
“Hello? Are you there?”
...again..nothing..
Allow me to add that at that time, my relationship with God was unilateral. I prayed, at times I got what I wanted and at times I also did not get what I asked for. I told myself, “Not my luck” and moved on. Thankfully, this was all going to change.
I called my father to tell him that I can’t wake up. He instantly thought that this was another of my pranks and there was no way he’s going to fall far it this time. Naturally, I got this response from him.
“Get up from bed and go to work!”
If only I could, papa.. If only I could. Till this day I don’t blame him for seeing things that way because I was quite the prankster back then. Aesop’s “ The Boy Who Cried Wolf” is a great analogy to further explain this situation.
That morning I cried out but no one came because… simply because I used to cry Wolf!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
“What should I do, uncle?”
“Call the ambulance. Here you can call St John or the nearest hospital, PPUM. They will know what to do. I will come and see you once my shift is over.”
“What do I tell them?”
‘Tell them that you have a stroke.”
So that’s why I cant move..yes..a stroke paralyzes you temporarily..
I was not concerned about the event at that moment and I owe it to my ignorance. I had the impression that this was a temporary thing and it will be alright once the doctors work their magic on me so I was cool with it.
All of a sudden, this gust of fear came upon me as I realized the true effects of this disease. Fortunately, there were no more skipping of heartbeats but my mind started to question the true meaning of this. And so I prayed…
“What do I tell them?”
‘Tell them that you have a stroke.”
So that’s why I cant move..yes..a stroke paralyzes you temporarily..
I was not concerned about the event at that moment and I owe it to my ignorance. I had the impression that this was a temporary thing and it will be alright once the doctors work their magic on me so I was cool with it.
All of a sudden, this gust of fear came upon me as I realized the true effects of this disease. Fortunately, there were no more skipping of heartbeats but my mind started to question the true meaning of this. And so I prayed…
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
My uncle to the rescue
I soon realized how urgent the matterat hand was. I was paralyzedon one side of my body. On top of that the headache seemed to get from bad to worse now. My vision was blurry, I felt nausea and there was this immense pressure on the left side.
She quickly sprinkled holy water around me, thinking it was some ethereal being holding me down. My mind acted quickly. In an instance I called my Uncle Murthy to explain my situation. Being in the medical line, he diagnosed it as a mild stroke..
My heart skipped a beat
No..
It skipped many beats..
She quickly sprinkled holy water around me, thinking it was some ethereal being holding me down. My mind acted quickly. In an instance I called my Uncle Murthy to explain my situation. Being in the medical line, he diagnosed it as a mild stroke..
My heart skipped a beat
No..
It skipped many beats..
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
What the?
The drug worked. I slept like a baby for a good 2 hours. Upon waking up, I told my self
“Never knew how much work can take out of me!”
What I was referring to was my industrial training which was the final requirement for my degree. This was the last hurdle for me to graduate and eventually begin my working life, or so I thought…
I tried to get up to the toilet and fell. Instantly, she came to my aid and asked what was the matter. I knew then that something was vividly wrong but I brushed it aside. I crawled or rather dragged my way to the toilet pulled down by the deadweight on my left side.
“Must have slept on my left all night”
I stopped halfway and asked her to get me a pail for I could bear it no more. Urine was passed but there was a greater concern at hand.
My sudden numbness on the left
“Never knew how much work can take out of me!”
What I was referring to was my industrial training which was the final requirement for my degree. This was the last hurdle for me to graduate and eventually begin my working life, or so I thought…
I tried to get up to the toilet and fell. Instantly, she came to my aid and asked what was the matter. I knew then that something was vividly wrong but I brushed it aside. I crawled or rather dragged my way to the toilet pulled down by the deadweight on my left side.
“Must have slept on my left all night”
I stopped halfway and asked her to get me a pail for I could bear it no more. Urine was passed but there was a greater concern at hand.
My sudden numbness on the left
Friday, April 24, 2009
It Came Upon a Morning Clear...
Pain...
Numb...
Drowsy...
Disoriented...
Confused...
"What is going on?!" I questioned myself.
"Probably another migraine"
"Are you ok? Do you want me to get you meds?" she asked.
I replied" Go get me panadol now!!!"
She was prone to headaches and always carried medicine wit her. So I took the pills and went back to sleep brushing the slight numbness aside.
It was roughly around 6 in the a.m.
Numb...
Drowsy...
Disoriented...
Confused...
"What is going on?!" I questioned myself.
"Probably another migraine"
"Are you ok? Do you want me to get you meds?" she asked.
I replied" Go get me panadol now!!!"
She was prone to headaches and always carried medicine wit her. So I took the pills and went back to sleep brushing the slight numbness aside.
It was roughly around 6 in the a.m.
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